We are skint.
Long, long ago when we had savings and pensions, holidays
and cleaners, we were in the privileged position, not so much to pay for our
children to attend a newly founded independent primary school in the next town,
as to pay for them not to attend our allocated state version in the next road.
This decision has been reinforced many times over by
their passion for school, an evolving hunger and enjoyment at learning new
topics and developing existing strengths, their strong confidence in their current
abilities and an enthusiasm to attempt many subjects, sports or artistic efforts,
regardless of their abilities.
As with many sole traders, other people’s recessionary
measures have undermined my husband’s attempts to keep a strong credit balance
in our bank accounts. The cost of barely
living rising quickly, our decision to educate our children privately has been much
derided by our accountant and any of the lending institutions with whom we have
attempted to build a pecuniary relationship.
All recoil from our attempts to ameliorate the situation once they are
in possession of our school bills outgoings against our actual incomings.
With two children in consecutive years, there is no
respite from the merciless burden of the school fees invoice, and we have been
slowly reducing extra-ordinary expenses in order to meet the final demands.
As well as a million other mothers in the UK (I know this
figure to be exact, as I have been told by several large employers ... “Dear
Mrs. Lane, Thank you for your application for shite-y job. We were overwhelmed by the response from a
million applicants and sadly we have been unable to look properly at your
application at this time as we are now seeking a suitable employee to reply to the
million applications.”), I am desperate to find the perfect job. This, of course, used to be megabucks-earning
Head of Something at Dynamo International, but my lack of extended family to
support my primary employment as mother of two young children means my
expectations are diminished and I must find something more parochial, school
hours, term time only, in order that I can accommodate my family
responsibilities. My current salary
expectations go hand-in-hand with the demands of my children, i.e. I will work
for almost any ridiculously low salary if I can find something that fits in
with the school timetable and the excruciatingly long and frequent holidays and
thereby save outlaying extortionate childcare fees.
Constant on our minds is the capital we have in our
London home. It sometimes seems
ridiculous to have so much equity in a house, which will only realize any of
its potential if we up sticks and move hundreds of miles away from it. Do we really have to move just to afford a
better education for our children?
For my own part, instead of downsizing my house, aside
from my small efforts to earn money, I have attempted to maintain what little
we have by incrementally downgrading my lifestyle. Gone are the Lady That Lunches restaurant
bookings, the fortnightly pedicures, rich and luxurious unguents to smother my
ageing skin. Oh, Pampered Princess, wherefore art thou? I have recently bought my body lotion from
Sainsbury’s instead of Harvey Nichols, so it cannot be said that I am not doing
my bit.
Our only beacon of hope is the recently opened West
London Free School – it’s not until you pay school fees that you realize quite
how much you would save if you didn’t pay them.
A river of promise flooded this part of West London and
maybe some parts of North, South and East London too, when Toby Young and his
fellow steering committee members announced they had signed their Funding
Agreement to set up a free school in the area.
Early days yet, but glimpses of pupils in King Street and Ravenscourt
Park, send shivers of anticipation and excitement at the opportunity for my
children to wear the WLFS’s smart uniform and the opportunity for me to wear my
own uniform of choice made entirely out of
pieces-not-necessarily-found-in-every-High-Street-in-the-UK.
Could this be the answer to all our problems? All of our problems? Because, let’s face it, what could not be resolved
by the restoration of our family’s middle-to-low income as opposed to just bus
fare for Carey Street? Do not all parents
with children at great state schools live blissfully in love with their
spouses, never arguing about whether the incredulously high heating bill in the
winter will negate the warmth of a sunny holiday in the summer? What couldn’t be achieved by expensive
weekends in Mr & Mrs Smith boutique hotels
with bills being settled from full bank accounts? And which relationship not rejuvenated
by the wife wearing expensive moisturizer again?
Don’t get me wrong.
It is NOT ALL ABOUT MONEY. The
primary reason we were reluctant to accept readily the local authority’s
designated offering was driven by its new Head who reassured me that whilst the
school had failed to reach a reasonable level in their recent OFSTED report for
Literacy and Numeracy, I should satisfy myself that my 4-yr old Number One Son,
who counted to 100 and could read basic words like cat, mat, hat, would surely
be awarded a place on the school’s Gifted programme. I am ashamed to admit this but when I heard “gifted”,
I also heard “special” in the same breath, but not with the same warmth with
which I greet Special Offer. As much as I think my children are the most
intelligent, confident, amusing, interesting children I could ever wish to
spend my time with, gifted seems rather farfetched and I was adamant that my
child would not be dozen-ed out merely on the basis that he was one of 12
children out of 60 in Reception Year who benefited from two English as a
first-language parents, and thus the mere fact that he spoke fluent English was
enough to make him conspicuous.
Unfortunately, our naivety at not attending services regularly
over the previous four years also annihilated any chance of his attendance at a
church school and so we were left with a school which had been our reluctant third
choice or to look elsewhere.
The decision to go privately did not come lightly. We had two children and only one proper income.
My husband had attended several state schools across the world when his father
was in the RAF and had managed a First in Chemistry before beginning a PhD at
Oxford. We flattered ourselves that we
were bright, educated parents, who would easily support our children at a state
school and we had looked forward to being part of the local school community. But this was at the outstanding state school
a few hundred yards from our home, or even perhaps at the other good state
school less than a mile away. All this
was attenuated when reality came to visit and our son was not placed at either
of our first choice schools.
In Kew, there are two schools opposite each other – one,
Queen’s, a state funded church school and the other, Kew College, an
independent. Recently driving through at
pick up time, a number of 4x4 and sports cars were parking in the street
between the two schools. What was
interesting was that the parents, on alighting, turned towards the state school
and not the independent. Possibly, by
not paying school fees, these families had income enough for high-end vehicles.
Of course, I am not so ignorant that I believe this to be
the case for the majority of parents.
Just as not all fee-paying schools are populated with children whose
parents are on the breadline paying the fees.
But why can’t all hard-working parents have our cake and eat some of it too? Although there are many thousands of families
who would not even consider a private education for their children as it is so
far from their means, it does seem like a sacrifice for so many of us, that
merely by living 100 yards too far from a good school, we should then have to consider
spending thirty percent of our income on our children’s education.
Yes, children from independent schools get more attention
from smaller class sizes, but they also have longer school holidays, which in
turn means providing more childcare, whether by one of the parents or by paying
someone else to look after their children whilst they are at work paying for
the school fees. Anecdotal evidence
suggests that more women are working part-time just to countermand the holiday and afterschool childcare costs of sending their children to state school. Can you imagine how much that increases when
you are paying fees and childcare?
Statistically, fee-paying pupils come from comfortable
homes with all mod cons and Ocado delivery shopping. But not all of these children are from
middle-class Stepford families. There
are divorces and deaths and siblings with disabilities across a wide spectrum
of middle England – state schools do not get exclusivity when it comes to
broken homes or living with terminal handicaps.
But most fee-paying parents provide good school and home support for the
children and, naturally, this is reflected in their children’s education. If you are paying for something you tend to
support it wholeheartedly. Not to say
that state school parents are not one hundred percent behind their children,
but our parents are in front of their children hammering at the door asking
whether they are getting their money’s worth and kicking down the door if we
feel we are not. That is the benefit we buy
from a private school and, at this level, when it is just a case of your child
settling into their legal obligation to be educated, THAT IS IT.
There are no longer tax allowances for parents of
independently schooled children or any financial incentives, but the very
nature of some parents not sending their children to state schools means they
are saving the country millions of pounds every year by the government not having
to provide education, buildings and general care for them. What would happen if the majority of independent
schools closed and the local authorities had to accommodate over half a million
extra pupils?
Why are there so many detractors from the new West London
Free School or any similarly set up institution? Why would anyone not want a really good
school to open up which had places from families from any income bracket and
offered a similar academic adhesion to that of private schools together with a
real crack at social mobility for many families? AND WAS FREE??? We must all try and live within the limits of
our actual situation, but the opportunities arising from an aspirational education
means that every now and then we are encouraged to tip toe out of those
parameters and have the confidence to push those boundaries back a bit.
Don’t get me wrong, if I win the National Lottery or I
somehow find out that despite both my parents being dead for many years now,
that I have inherited more than strong calves and a strong stomach for cava, I will
be applying at every independent secondary school across London and the South
East of England. The truth is that we need
the Free School but even at its best, at this stage in its evolution, it cannot
compete with some of the more established fee-paying schools available and, if
I was to find myself rolling in money, I would take advantage of them. But, the chances of us having more money than
our house is worth are slim. So I cross
my fingers that we will make the WLFS allocation, and there is a chance that not
only will our children receive a first class education, but perhaps by no
longer paying out one-third of our net household income each year on school
fees, we can begin to start saving for our future too.
Pericles said “what
you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven
into the lives of others”. I hope
our children remember this when they look back at their heady childhood days and
then look gratefully forward to subsidizing their aged parents who despairingly
spent all of their pensions on their children’s education.
Port Plum Cream
Really
quick, cheap, pudding for cheering yourself up on a ranting day. Quantities depend on how miserable you are or
if you decide to share with others - the pudding and the rant. Increase as necessary.
4 plums – de-stoned
and quartered
Good splash of
port, say, 100mls
1 Cinnamon stick
or teaspoon of powdered cinnamon
5 Cardamom pods
2 tablespoons of
any kind of light brown sugar
300 mls Double Cream
150 mls Greek or
Greek-style yoghurt
Put the plums,
splash of port, sugar and cinnamon and cardamom into a pan and heat gently with
a lid on until bubbling. Leave to simmer
until plums are soft through with a knife.
Leave to cool. Remove the
cinnamon stick if used and cardamom pods.
Whip double
cream until consistency of Mr Whippy machine ice-cream. Fold in the yoghurt and then fold in the
fruit.
Chill until
needed or if you are sharing, decant into pretty serving bowls first then
chill.